Frequently Asked Questions
Are you a dominatrix/domme/mistress?
No, I am a disciplinarian and top. I consider this to be related to the above terms, but not quite the same thing. I do not perscribe to the master/slave or goddess/worshipper paradigms. Instead, I consider myself a teacher and you my pupil. I focus my energies mainly on discipline and punishment. Therefore, I must insist you call me Ms. Cassandra, Ms. Marks or Ma'am. I also do not wear to the typical dominatrix wardrobe, instead choosing to wear everyday clothing that is appropriate to our particular scene.
Do you offer any punishments that aren't painful?
While a vast majority of my sessions include domestic and corporal punishments, it can be equally as rewarding to have a session that limits or excludes that altogether. The focus of these sessions will be things like role play, verbal reprimand, humiliation, objectification, line writing, corner time, mouth washing, forced exercise, etc,. So if that is where your interests lie, you are most welcome to inquire. Chances are, it can be done.
Do you do anything that isn't punishment?
Many of the activities I enjoy don't necessarily have to involve a punishment aspect. Spankings, CBT, NT, role play, humiliation, objectification, light crossdressing and bondage can all be done in a more playful way. It doesn't mean you still won't be pushed...but I may be giggling more of the time ;)
Do you allow for safe words in your scenes?
I do not. Because what I offer is meant to provide punishment and subsequently a path to redemption, it is not something that you are able to dictate. My dominance lies not only in my hand, but also my superior emotional intelligence and intuition. The sentiment that is most often expressed to me after my scenes is immense gratitude for being unrelenting, yet caring. And that really is at the crux of what this is all about: being pushed, being challenged and trusting the process 100%. All that said, I am not interested in, to borrow a phrase, cruel and unusual punishment. Your session will always be tempered with kindness and gentleness to some degree (even if that degree is a small one). I do offer a very detailed application process that allows me to really get to know who you are and what it is you need. No two scenes are alike, and I never approach sessions with a one size fits all mentality. What’s intense punishment to one person might be nothing more than a soft tickle to another.
Do you offer financial domination?
Yes, but only in the context of punishment. I recognize that this not the way financial domination is typically done, but I have found it to be an extremely effective punishment that works wonderfully for both in person and distance sessions. So for example, if we’re in a scene and you need punishment, I may offer you a choice: give me $XX or take XX beltings to the rear. I may also make you do both if you’ve been especially naughty! It can also be utilized in ongoing distance based behavioral modification. Let’s say you’re looking to quit smoking. For every time you light up, you owe me $XX and will receive a line writing assignment. This is not something I would ever implement without prior discussion and arrangements.
What do you wear in session?
It will vary depending on the scene, activities and any predetermined roles and dynamics we choose to explore. Many times, it falls into the “work attire” category, meaning a sheath dress or a pencil skirt and a fitted or button up top, and possibly a blazer, cardigan and/or tights/pantyhose. A more domestic or maternal style scene may warrant a fit and flare style dress or an a-line shirt and more frilly top. Other times, I may decide on a more casual look such as jeans and a t-shirt or yoga pants and a tank top. Basically, what I wear in scene, while always chic and well put together, would never cause a second glance if I were just walking down the street. In other words, no lingerie, fetish attire like latex or leather, or other overtly provocative attire. This is not only appropriate considering the type of services I provide, but also keeps everything incredibly discreet for both of us. While ultimately I decide what I will wear based on what makes sense for our scene, you may express preferences. That does not guarantee that it will be accommodated, however. As a rule, the simpler the preference is, the more likely it is to realize. Examples of this include a love for a certain colors or style of footwear.
Can you send me a picture of your face before we meet?
No. But if it helps quell any apprehension, I always hear that I exceed any expectations had based on my pictures. Furthermore, I have also been told that I bear a resemblance to Florence Welch, Emily Deschanel and Lake Bell. While I wouldn’t say that I’m a dead ringer for any of them, the four of us definitely share similar attributes: striking eyes, sharp features and amazing hair.
Why should I see you instead of a domme?
There are many reasons that would make a disciplinarian or top a better choice for you than a traditional domme. They include:
An intense desire for spanking and corproral punishments
A desire to achieve goals and/or change destructive behaviors
A desire to grow as a person through punishments and rewards
A need for true connection and catharsis through punishments
A curiosity in a more in depth style of role play and exploration
A lack of interest in the mistress/slave dynamics
A lack of interest in the traditional mistress uniforms of leather, latex, corsets, etc.
A lack of interest in dungeon set ups and aesthetics
If one or more of these apply to you, my approach and offerings are definitely worth exploring.
What if I have a hard limit?
There is nothing wrong with having hard limits, and your time to express what they are is before our session begins in your application and/or our pre session interview. As stated, I do not use safe words. Therefore it is imperative I know things like, for example, you have a hard limit for caning. Even seemingly unrelated hard limits are important to know as well. If you’re not sure what your limitations are because you’re new to all of this or because you have not personally tried a specific activity, that is ok. I would rather have too much information than too little.
Can I see you if I’m a woman or transgendered?
We're a couple. Can we see you together?
What if I’m nervous or unsure if I want to meet?
In this case, a phone or in person consultation is the best option for you. This will give us more time to go over questions and concerns, and will give you an opportunity to get to know me. You’ll find me to be quite charming and not at all the distant, cold archetype of a dominant woman.
What if I don’t want to receive any marks?
Despite what my namesake might suggest, you do not have to receive marks during your spanking. That said, we will have to go over a few things first. Skin tone, pain tolerance, health issues and other factors may make it easier or more difficult to receive marks.
May I bring you a gift?
Yes of course. Gifts are always a welcome surprise! A new spanking implement, Wolford hosiery, Tiffany & Co silver necklaces and bracelets, Bulletproof by Tokyo Milk Eau de Parfum and butter LONDON nail polishes will always bring a smile to my face. More details and suggestions can be found on this page. Bear in mind that I prefer not to receive alcohol, flowers or food.
Can I see some examples of your "handy work"?
I've never done anything like this before. May I see you?
Yes of course. I am always happy to see beginners. Be advised that, instead of references, you wil either need to provide a deposit or schedule an in person consultation.
Where are your sessions held? Is it in a dungeon?
I do not host sessions in a dungeon setting for our mutual comfort and privacy. When in Chicago, I host in a beautiful, discreet domestic setting. There is plenty of free parking available, as well as several nearby public transportation options. When traveling, I do extensive research on my hosting locations and have never, ever had any sort of noise complaint or any sort of breech of privacy. I am, above all else, a professional.